Just after the three day stint at the cross-country training, I was resting in my bed, reading up some newspapers, when suddenly, someone sprung in and called me out to the gym. I was really tired, and said no.
What followed next was an attempt on me to lift me up and throw me around, and another attempt to dislocate my shoulders through an awkardly forced triceps stretch.
For some unknown reason, I did not resist. I just said, "Stop it."
All the while saying it, until he locked my shoulders to the threshold of pain.
I can't believe I actually whimpered at that time.
After shouting "Fucking hell, let go lah!", he got the message. But it got me shivering with hate, and a bunch of feelings I could not describe.
What held me back? Given the circumstances, he could not have lifted me. Even if he did, he would be thrown by me. And the arm lock, I could have undone it by cart-wheeling over him. But in the first place...
I should have resisted.
Why didn't I? Was it because I'd once again, hurt my knee again, rendering me Out-Of-Course and possibly get charged (I declared I was combat fit for the driver's course) ?
Or was it because I'm afraid that he would punch me senseless with his martial skills (he said he'd dislocated almost every bone, somewhat like Nigel, so I suppose he learnt taekwando or some other martial art on a national level) and overwhelming fighting aura?
Or was it, once again, the military law pushing me down, taking down anyone who attempts to give the slightest hint of violence?
I don't what to be now... I feel... like a loser, down in the dumps...
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Sunday, March 27, 2005
This 4th week will be fast
Wahooo!!!
I just passed my Highway Situational Problems!
Now all that's left is the Final Practical Test and I'm a driver!
This week will be fast; cross-country training will be occupying three days of the week. But, I still have this monday and friday to do public road driving, which I suddenly have come to loath.
2 more weeks to POP!!! Yahoo!!!!!!!!!
I just passed my Highway Situational Problems!
Now all that's left is the Final Practical Test and I'm a driver!
This week will be fast; cross-country training will be occupying three days of the week. But, I still have this monday and friday to do public road driving, which I suddenly have come to loath.
2 more weeks to POP!!! Yahoo!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Driver IC woes
Drivers to be come in groups, and it seems that I got chosen to be the group IC in week 1 day 1. First time kanna sia. BMT that time, I never kanna, maybe it's because of my troubled leg, or the fact that I act ignorant and have no eye contact with the sergeants.
Why I so lucky? Maybe it's the fact that the previous group, someone by the name of Daniel Nicholas Tan spotted me. Got to catch up with him old times... Hahah friends since Camp Mambo in Mar 2002... And he got the chief instuctor to sabo me by asking me to be the IC. Thought I could run away from it when a staff sergeant chose someone else to be the overall IC for the whole group.
Things didn't go as planned, and the ICs got a little blurred along the lines. The other IC chosen by the staff silently became the overall accomodation IC, and I became the IC that assists the chief instructor in getting the strength and getting things going smoothly.
It's been a while since I got to be IC, and I felt a deja vu coming up. The previous time I was in charge of, I think it's the Sport Championships in SIT (a tri-sports competition to promote fitness and blah). There I was, the IC in charge of coordinating the events, but to have my 2IC to suddenly go solo (or something like that) and overshadow me, got me feeling like what I feel now: a manipulated puppet that follows.
Last saturday, my chief instructor went crazily regimental (we walk in steps then, not march) and asked me to command them. but in the end, my 2IC did it all. Maybe I admitted I couldn't handle the pressure, and shoved some of the publicly needed acts to my 2IC (cue, shouting for order).
Some of the ppl in the group could feel it, something like the 2IC being more reliable than me, but I can't really care.
I just don't like to lead.
Ok, if you people can put up with all this shit, I really thank you. and caution to those who can't, because there is some more shit coming, so you might want to go to the next post.
Then there are some people who love to play punk with me, and disregard everything I tell them.
One annoying Singh that is. He would push through me even though there is a lot of space around. and mouth lots of scornful stuff right into my face.
The final blow came when I passed him by and felt something thrown at my back. Asking a simple question of whether he threw the thing at me, became a shouting match, and nearly got into a showdown.
Made the move of apologising to him, got childishly rejected. I swear man, if he tries to make another move on me again, I will not hold my punches and kick his sorry ass. I've had it: what's the point of the military law, and possible superior suppression, if that guy still has a chance to pull off a prank on me, or make a clown out of me?
Come to think of it, it's been a while since I used violence to settle things. Percieved as a gentle giant, maybe they are trying to eat me up.
I've HAD IT.
Why I so lucky? Maybe it's the fact that the previous group, someone by the name of Daniel Nicholas Tan spotted me. Got to catch up with him old times... Hahah friends since Camp Mambo in Mar 2002... And he got the chief instuctor to sabo me by asking me to be the IC. Thought I could run away from it when a staff sergeant chose someone else to be the overall IC for the whole group.
Things didn't go as planned, and the ICs got a little blurred along the lines. The other IC chosen by the staff silently became the overall accomodation IC, and I became the IC that assists the chief instructor in getting the strength and getting things going smoothly.
It's been a while since I got to be IC, and I felt a deja vu coming up. The previous time I was in charge of, I think it's the Sport Championships in SIT (a tri-sports competition to promote fitness and blah). There I was, the IC in charge of coordinating the events, but to have my 2IC to suddenly go solo (or something like that) and overshadow me, got me feeling like what I feel now: a manipulated puppet that follows.
Last saturday, my chief instructor went crazily regimental (we walk in steps then, not march) and asked me to command them. but in the end, my 2IC did it all. Maybe I admitted I couldn't handle the pressure, and shoved some of the publicly needed acts to my 2IC (cue, shouting for order).
Some of the ppl in the group could feel it, something like the 2IC being more reliable than me, but I can't really care.
I just don't like to lead.
Ok, if you people can put up with all this shit, I really thank you. and caution to those who can't, because there is some more shit coming, so you might want to go to the next post.
Then there are some people who love to play punk with me, and disregard everything I tell them.
One annoying Singh that is. He would push through me even though there is a lot of space around. and mouth lots of scornful stuff right into my face.
The final blow came when I passed him by and felt something thrown at my back. Asking a simple question of whether he threw the thing at me, became a shouting match, and nearly got into a showdown.
Made the move of apologising to him, got childishly rejected. I swear man, if he tries to make another move on me again, I will not hold my punches and kick his sorry ass. I've had it: what's the point of the military law, and possible superior suppression, if that guy still has a chance to pull off a prank on me, or make a clown out of me?
Come to think of it, it's been a while since I used violence to settle things. Percieved as a gentle giant, maybe they are trying to eat me up.
I've HAD IT.
Week 2 is a mentally hell week
Hmm... Let me think about what I went through in the second week of the driver's course.
For the past week, I've been driving a landrover. Equivalent to the size of a normal car. This baby runs on diesel, and it's clutch control and biting point is a pain in the ass to feel. My instructor have been shouting at me since last monday, and I've sworn to cover my ears with plugs should the situation worsen. Of course, with such a move, the other parts of my body, namely my eyes, hands, legs will quiver or simply freeze on the spot, leaving my instructor to move the legs and hands himself, and all the more shouting.
Nothing like this has happened when I had a temporary swop with the other instructors for one or two days. I swear, those one or days are the only morale-boosting parts, that at the very least, I could drive a vehicle.
After a few public rantings behind the instructor's back, I guess I got owned in the end by the instructor. So I opened up a bit, and finally drove like a normal Joe.
Woo!!! The driving was si bei shiok!!! Until I migrated to the big white elephant, the 3-Tonner Iveco Fiat on Saturday. This big boy also runs on diesel, but due to new trucks coming in, this guy got relegated to just training vehicles in the driving course.
It's a tough vehicle to control. Air operated brakes, means that the brakes won't actually work until you push in the pedal and get the air pressure to the max. Point of view is elevated, and that means looking at the left blind spot is like looking at a small puny mirror looking downwards.
And the vehicle is long; turning has to be more control and more gradual. And the gear lever! it's fucking harder to move in than a car or landrover!
now I have to drive this vehicle for 4 days, 100minutes a day, and at the end of it, treat it like a normal car.
For the past week, I've been driving a landrover. Equivalent to the size of a normal car. This baby runs on diesel, and it's clutch control and biting point is a pain in the ass to feel. My instructor have been shouting at me since last monday, and I've sworn to cover my ears with plugs should the situation worsen. Of course, with such a move, the other parts of my body, namely my eyes, hands, legs will quiver or simply freeze on the spot, leaving my instructor to move the legs and hands himself, and all the more shouting.
Nothing like this has happened when I had a temporary swop with the other instructors for one or two days. I swear, those one or days are the only morale-boosting parts, that at the very least, I could drive a vehicle.
After a few public rantings behind the instructor's back, I guess I got owned in the end by the instructor. So I opened up a bit, and finally drove like a normal Joe.
Woo!!! The driving was si bei shiok!!! Until I migrated to the big white elephant, the 3-Tonner Iveco Fiat on Saturday. This big boy also runs on diesel, but due to new trucks coming in, this guy got relegated to just training vehicles in the driving course.
It's a tough vehicle to control. Air operated brakes, means that the brakes won't actually work until you push in the pedal and get the air pressure to the max. Point of view is elevated, and that means looking at the left blind spot is like looking at a small puny mirror looking downwards.
And the vehicle is long; turning has to be more control and more gradual. And the gear lever! it's fucking harder to move in than a car or landrover!
now I have to drive this vehicle for 4 days, 100minutes a day, and at the end of it, treat it like a normal car.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Kanna Fucked
Free instructors aren't for nothing: they just fuck you left,right and upside down. And you could still get no clue of what he's saying.
Maybe it's just the instructor: I had no problems with other instructors when I did a swop.
Haiz 4 more weeks to POP loh....
Maybe it's just the instructor: I had no problems with other instructors when I did a swop.
Haiz 4 more weeks to POP loh....
Sunday, March 06, 2005
I'm gonna be a driver Loh
A current summary of army life so far...
Obese BMT (180804 - 031204)
--------------------------------
Training to shoot, kill, combat, like an infantry unit.
Strong military manners instilled.
Backside covered at all times.
Lost 15kg.
Area cleaning Daily
Personal grooming and personal Hygiene closely scrutunised.
Living in fear of signing extras for careless mistakes.
Course: Failed.
Driver's Vocation (101204 - 040305)
--------------------------------------
New unit, new rules. Surprisingly likeable.
Training to hide from work, slack and sleep anywhere like a pig.
Just fall in at 0730 everyday, fall out at 1730.
Whatever happens before and after doesn't matter.
Area Cleaning Weekly.
Book out on Friday!
Saikang Warrior: Wash car, Grease Vehicle, Change Car Oils
Living in fear of signing extras for hiding frm work.
Driver's Course (070305 - 110405)
--------------------------------------
New unit, new rules, Half likeable, Half not.
Falling in at 0530 everyday. Falling out at 2000
Area cleaning everyday.
Assumed fit when not. cross my fingers for the best.
Finally can drive...
Right... less time to blog, all because of this course. hope it ends in 5 weeks instead of 7.
Obese BMT (180804 - 031204)
--------------------------------
Training to shoot, kill, combat, like an infantry unit.
Strong military manners instilled.
Backside covered at all times.
Lost 15kg.
Area cleaning Daily
Personal grooming and personal Hygiene closely scrutunised.
Living in fear of signing extras for careless mistakes.
Course: Failed.
Driver's Vocation (101204 - 040305)
--------------------------------------
New unit, new rules. Surprisingly likeable.
Training to hide from work, slack and sleep anywhere like a pig.
Just fall in at 0730 everyday, fall out at 1730.
Whatever happens before and after doesn't matter.
Area Cleaning Weekly.
Book out on Friday!
Saikang Warrior: Wash car, Grease Vehicle, Change Car Oils
Living in fear of signing extras for hiding frm work.
Driver's Course (070305 - 110405)
--------------------------------------
New unit, new rules, Half likeable, Half not.
Falling in at 0530 everyday. Falling out at 2000
Area cleaning everyday.
Assumed fit when not. cross my fingers for the best.
Finally can drive...
Right... less time to blog, all because of this course. hope it ends in 5 weeks instead of 7.
Friday, March 04, 2005
I need company...
Suddenly, out of the blue, I feel like hugging someone, to feel that affection. Strange... never really got this feeling before.
Maybe it's the fact that my "gay" member in camp has gone for a course, that resulted in such a lonely response.
Right now, I suppose it's impossible to embrace someone of the other sex (who would want to hug a 1.83m bear anyway?) , but to hug another guy... is really a Gay Gay thing to do. (pun intended...)
Maybe it's the fact that my "gay" member in camp has gone for a course, that resulted in such a lonely response.
Right now, I suppose it's impossible to embrace someone of the other sex (who would want to hug a 1.83m bear anyway?) , but to hug another guy... is really a Gay Gay thing to do. (pun intended...)
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Today I got a hair cut.
Today I got a hair cut.
People would call it the worst haircut ever.
Men in Singapore could cut it at a barber for the cheapest of $2
It was my normal hairstyle then.
Today, *big SIGH* I got a hair cut.
People would call it the worst haircut ever.
Men in Singapore could cut it at a barber for the cheapest of $2
It was my normal hairstyle then.
Today, *big SIGH* I got a hair cut.
Stupid Choices...
Today, I faced a HUGE dilemma.
I mean a HUGE HUGE one...
I went for the medical appointment to follow up on my knee surgery to come...
It was pretty much a shocker as usual. The usual reply that the sugery will be carried out next week, and months and months of wonderful MCs will follow...
I also realised the basics of the operation... The last time, I was like, thinking how the hell are the doctors gonna replace the torn piece of meat in my leg, known as the ligament, with another grafted piece of meat?
Until today, then I found out.
During the operation, the doctors will take a piece of hamstring (It's the back of the thighs baby) mucsle from my leg (Yeow!) and graft it in place of my torn ligament.
Therefore, I have the need to go for physio therapy sessions, which I haven't been going since I need to take leave for every session, and that, alone bites off one day for an early ORD.
Yeah, now the two choices are as follows:
Take the operation now, and that gets me at least 3 months of MCs
- Which also deprives me of a potential driving course
- that equates to a wasted free driving experience
- Which gets me out of action for at least 2 months
- that's like keeping me from doing my one activity for at least 2 months
Delay the operation now, surely I've hastened my death sentence by stress intolerance
- By being in fear of signing extras for nothing, all because of one STUPID SGT.
- Having to do shit work for dunno how long
- And cling to the hope that the driver's course will be coming in 3 weeks. Or more.
Sure, there are good points to these choices, but what the hell, I've decided to delay it. I'll leave the decision until the next appointment. Til then, I'm gonna report sick tmr and go for my physio. Have to get my hamstring BIG and strong... If by then, if the driving course still seems so far away, I'm just go for the op.
And if you are still thinking about the one activity that I can't do for at least 2 months, it ain't masturbation. No, I'm serious, it's not jacking off in pleasure.
I mean a HUGE HUGE one...
I went for the medical appointment to follow up on my knee surgery to come...
It was pretty much a shocker as usual. The usual reply that the sugery will be carried out next week, and months and months of wonderful MCs will follow...
I also realised the basics of the operation... The last time, I was like, thinking how the hell are the doctors gonna replace the torn piece of meat in my leg, known as the ligament, with another grafted piece of meat?
Until today, then I found out.
During the operation, the doctors will take a piece of hamstring (It's the back of the thighs baby) mucsle from my leg (Yeow!) and graft it in place of my torn ligament.
Therefore, I have the need to go for physio therapy sessions, which I haven't been going since I need to take leave for every session, and that, alone bites off one day for an early ORD.
Yeah, now the two choices are as follows:
Take the operation now, and that gets me at least 3 months of MCs
- Which also deprives me of a potential driving course
- that equates to a wasted free driving experience
- Which gets me out of action for at least 2 months
- that's like keeping me from doing my one activity for at least 2 months
Delay the operation now, surely I've hastened my death sentence by stress intolerance
- By being in fear of signing extras for nothing, all because of one STUPID SGT.
- Having to do shit work for dunno how long
- And cling to the hope that the driver's course will be coming in 3 weeks. Or more.
Sure, there are good points to these choices, but what the hell, I've decided to delay it. I'll leave the decision until the next appointment. Til then, I'm gonna report sick tmr and go for my physio. Have to get my hamstring BIG and strong... If by then, if the driving course still seems so far away, I'm just go for the op.
And if you are still thinking about the one activity that I can't do for at least 2 months, it ain't masturbation. No, I'm serious, it's not jacking off in pleasure.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Silence Broken...
Hey Hey Hey....
I guess it's a little bore after people have been seeing the same old, same old for 3 months, so I'll start with a post that is interesting to me, and me only.. haha..
Met somebody while on the way home... It took a while, but I recognised him as Jun Kiat, or JK for short...
It's been 5 years since I've met him. The last encounter wasn't exactly good, it was more like brutal. It must be that time where I nearly had to wrestle him down when he threatened to show off his superb and flawless taekwando skills...
Or was it the time that he spammed on IRC, having the second most access power on th one single channel, and I was third? That time, we were having a spamming contest as to who could pban, kick, ban, each other, and unpban, join, unban, himself, and change nicknames, IPs on a console window? The spamming was so great, that the channel owner had to be reined in to abolish JK of his powers.... and lucky me...
I don't know which. I would love to post up his picture, but laziness always gets the better of me... haha...
Anyways, I saw him, caught up on him for a bit, and got the SHOCKER of my life.
He's in the SAME CAMP AS ME.
Along with another person (Also in the SAME CAMP) that almost gave that same experience 6 years ago (hate to digress now...), this is getting to be too much of a conincidence....
Could this be retribution?
But heng ah, he going ORD this June, so I won't be seeing him...
The silence now continues...
P.S: Post comment leh... sibei sian.... maybe i'll join with another's tag board...
I guess it's a little bore after people have been seeing the same old, same old for 3 months, so I'll start with a post that is interesting to me, and me only.. haha..
Met somebody while on the way home... It took a while, but I recognised him as Jun Kiat, or JK for short...
It's been 5 years since I've met him. The last encounter wasn't exactly good, it was more like brutal. It must be that time where I nearly had to wrestle him down when he threatened to show off his superb and flawless taekwando skills...
Or was it the time that he spammed on IRC, having the second most access power on th one single channel, and I was third? That time, we were having a spamming contest as to who could pban, kick, ban, each other, and unpban, join, unban, himself, and change nicknames, IPs on a console window? The spamming was so great, that the channel owner had to be reined in to abolish JK of his powers.... and lucky me...
I don't know which. I would love to post up his picture, but laziness always gets the better of me... haha...
Anyways, I saw him, caught up on him for a bit, and got the SHOCKER of my life.
He's in the SAME CAMP AS ME.
Along with another person (Also in the SAME CAMP) that almost gave that same experience 6 years ago (hate to digress now...), this is getting to be too much of a conincidence....
Could this be retribution?
But heng ah, he going ORD this June, so I won't be seeing him...
The silence now continues...
P.S: Post comment leh... sibei sian.... maybe i'll join with another's tag board...
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